Honest Questions

To doubt, to question, to seek, to inquire, to ask, to double-check is perfectly normal. The pilot or ship's captain who never checks his instruments, his sources of guidance, and travels in supreme confidence that he knows what he is doing and where he is going, is the one who will end up where he did not want to be. Going back to basics, checking your calculations, running over the logic again, referring to the charts, asking your spouse about something on the grocery list (!), are all important parts of staying on course, keeping your focus, reaching your goal. Your training has taught you what sources are reliable, and your experience will shown you when, and how often, to check.

Do you feel the worse for wear? Do some days simply seem to stack up against you, with what you know you will be facing before the day is over? If you are feeling used up and poured out, you are in good company. Many of the people who have been instrumental in what God has accomplished in building His kingdom have had times where they wondered whether they would endure, how long the season they were in would last, whether they were on the right path.

To feel worn out, worn down, worn thin, rubbed slick, is not a reason to worry that you might be on the wrong path. It simply means it is time to be refreshed in the presence of the Lord. Signs you may need a course correction can be if everything is coming your way - you may have turned the wrong way on a one-way street! God is not against success, but He does not define "success" as the world defines it.

Our minds, our language works well with what can be measured, quantified, counted. How many, at what place, in which time, for how long, are all ways we evaluate results, judge consequences, determine "right" ways, successful ways of behaving. God disregards the measurable, for that belongs to the material. God functions in those areas where we have difficulty, through the natural, trying to grasp the principles and understand the guidelines. God doesn't look only at what was done, but judges the intent behind the action. God doesn't look merely at how much was done, but recognizes whether it was done with love. He goes past the who, what, when, where, and how, to look at the why.

Noah performed hard, physical labor for years, even decades, in obedience to what God directed him to do. Given that the society and culture of the time was described as being continually evil, and Noah as being righteous, I feel confident in assessing the likelihood was high of Noah enduring much negative response, ranging from incredulous questioning to hostile vituperation. It is easy to understand him needing a refreshing touch from God, both physically and emotionally, as he had to labor to avoid developing any feelings of bitterness, hurt, anger, retribution, against his neighbors, relatives, or friends who behaved in that way toward him. 

Noah may have received from God the directions for building the ark in a dream or vision, and written down the detailed plans, or God may have given him the directions, step by step -- we have no record. But certainly Noah would have felt the need to make sure he "measured twice, and cut once" as he shaped the pieces that went together to make the ark.

Abram, who may have been born and fully grown before Noah died, eventually became a nomad, a wanderer. This is someone who is always on the move, never staying long in one place, and soon learns the lessons of traveling light. Travel times were tiring, setting up and breaking camp would grow old, being alert against possible threats from strangers becomes wearing; add to that the needs of the flocks and herds -- sufficient water and pasture, care for mothers and young, injured, weak, all the responsibilities of the care-giver. Being tired was a life-style. He frequently needed times to pause, rest, reflect, and determine what to do next. 

Abraham, as he received and embraced the covenant God made with him, also accepted the status of a pilgrim. By doing so, he cut himself free from the citizenship of the world, and started his spiritual journey to the "city with eternal foundations, a city designed and built by God." He moved forward, but always checked his bearings to ensure he was moving in the direction needed at the time. This included conviction that tithing to Melchizedek was right, faith that Sarah would have a child, trust that putting Isaac on the rock of sacrifice would not cost Abraham the promise of God. He was always willing to ask God, as often as necessary, to be sure he understood what God was going to do.

God does not look for numbers, he looks for compassion. He is not interested in the size of what is built, he wants mercy extended. He doesn't care about battles fought, He wants obedience. To see as God sees, we have to become blind to the world's standards and let Him open the eyes of our heart. It is a new way of thinking, it requires practice, and it requires constant checking. And as any new activity, it is tiring as it calls into use "muscles" that we haven't used before. To feel inadequate is good -- desperation keeps us focused on and reaching for Him. To feel overwhelmed, worn out, exhausted can mean we are stretching beyond our resources and will depend on God as our source. Accept His wisdom, follow His leading, listen to His voice, ask Him to open His Word by His Spirit -- He will show you what He wants, and give you strength to do it, as you accept your shortcomings in that area and lean on Him.

Psalm 21
v.1 O Lord, [Your beloved] rejoices in Your strength. How great is his joy in the victories You give!
v.2 You have granted him the desire of his heart and have not withheld the request of his lips.
v.6 Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of Your presence.
v.7 For [Your beloved] trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.
v.11 Though [the enemy] plot evil against You and devise wicked schemes, they cannot succeed;
v.12 for You will make them turn their backs when You aim at them with drawn bow.
v.13 Be exalted, O Lord, in Your strength; we will sing and praise Your might.

Gracious and giving Lord, Jehovah God, You do not find fault in us as we do. That which the world takes pride in, You find repugnant. That which You rejoice in, the world disparages. For us to seek You, come back to You, regularly, frequently, continually, is not tiring to You for You desire our fellowship and You answer our honest inquiries. We rest in the assurance of Your love, without question, and step forth in obedience to Your will as we understand it, always watching You, and not leaning to our own understanding. Thank You that You care enough to correct us when we need it, and You stay with us during the entire journey.

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